Wizards in Black 2
by KUTE KEEPER
Summary: Ok,basically it's men in Black 2 only Harry potter style,it's rated pg-13 cause of violence,scary sci-fi action and provacative humor,and VOldemort coming back as a girl,but it's an all around funny fic.
1. Mistories in History and the return of V...

W.II.B Wizards in Black II.  
  
Chapter 1. Mysteries in History and the return of Voldemort  
  
Mysteries in History, with your host,Peter Pettigrew. A man in his early tewnties stepped in front of the camera. "Have you ever wondered about the existance of magic and Wizards?"The man asked walking over to a desk and sitting down behind it. "Although no one has been able to prove their existance,a quasi-government agency known as the Wizards in Black supossedly carry out secret opperations here on Earth in order to keep us safe from Dark Wizards throughout the country.Here is one of their stories that "never happened" from one of their files that "doesn't exist".5 years ago,on Halloween 1981the W.I.B. stopped one of the most feared wizards in the world,Voldemort,"Peter felt himself invoulentaraly shudder at the sound of the name."But before the W.I.B. could use the Killing curse on him , he casted a spell on himself that allowed him to stay alive, it casted him out of his body instead of killing him,he vowed he'd come back and destroy England with the Light of Godric.He then disapeared,so not knowing that this had happened the people of England were once again saved by the W.I.B."Peter walked away from the camera,he knew about the W.I.B. two of his ex-bestfriends were W.I.B. agents  
  
It was a dark night when Tawny Jackson and Katalina Wayne were walking in the park,nobody saw the cloaked figure emurge from the forest,all of a sudden Tawny transformed into her anamagus form,a wolf,and ran away from Katalina,'Damn.' Kat thought as she chased after the black wolf with the flame marks on it's tail that was Tawny.When Kat found Tawny she was barking at the air."Tawny,heel, heel."she said as she walked over to the barking wolf."Tawny,you're barking at air moron." In a blinding puff of smoke Tawny stood where the wolf had been."sorry, couldn't help myself."she said. "you know,you're starting to sound like your brother."Kat told her. "If Sirius were here he'd be offended." Tawny replied.  
  
Voldemort cursed his stupidity,he knew the consiquences of his spell, the first thing he looked at he'd turn into whatever he saw,unfortunetly the barking canine had made him look over in that direction,he had saw a billborard,a Victoria's secret billboard,he had turned into the girl on the billboard.  
  
Author's note:I'm back! Ruh the imaginary gremlin squirrel hybrid:dun dun dun! Ok,sorry it's so gay,and short, but see the other night I bought Men in Black 2 and I could see Sirius saying,"The last suit you'll ever wear,again." if you're nice and review me I'll write more and if you're extra nice I might kill off Peter. :-) 


	2. Meet agent Black

Chapter 2. Meet Agent Black.  
  
Sirius Black,and his partner,Josiah Talley walked down the street,God did he hate his new partner,he had had to neuralize his old partner in order to protect him and his family,Lord did he miss James."No heroics,by the bookthis time." He told 'Siah  
  
"Got it,Hey."Josiah said kicking the Hydra's tail.  
  
"Uh,hey Joe,what's happenin' buddy?"Sirius asked the Hydra whose tail was sticking out of a subway grate."We were just wonderin' what you're doing here."  
  
"The man's talkin' to you."Josiah said kicking the tail again. Sirius ignored the fact that Josiah kicked the hydra.  
  
"You know our arrangements Joe,you stay in the E,F,& R Subway lines and in exchange you get to eat all the rats you can find."Sirius told the Hydra.  
  
"What the Hell are you ding here wormboy?"siah asked the hydra while grabbing it's tail,the grate started to shake.  
  
"'Siah."Sirius said warningly."uh Joe,excuse my partner,he..he's newand he's.."Suddenly the grate flung open revealing the large Hydra who flung T into a fruit stand nearby."...kinda stupid."Sirius finished.He looked at the hydra,he'd doubled in size since the last time he'd seen him."Man you're gettin' big Joe,Boy what've you been eatin'?"Suddenly another of the serpent's head burst through the cement behind Sirius."Damn." Sirius said a minuite before the head knocked him into another fruit stand nearby."Oh you like to play games?"Sirius asked outloud,he walked back over to where the grate had been."Joey."Sirius said as he jumped down the hole,he landed on the 600ft. hydra,as he landed he was thrown up in the air and hit the ceiling,a few feet later he was thrown up into the air again only this time he hit a stopsign hanging from the ceiling.(I had to keep it close to the movie.)He pulled a unipod hydra tranquilizer out of his pocket."Sweet dreams big boy."he said as he injected the hydra with the tranquilizer,it didn't work 'Damn.' Sirius thought as he pulled out another one,he was about to inject the hydra again,"Sweet dreams.."Sirius started but unfourtunitly he was flung off the hydra and through the back window of the Hogwarts Express.  
  
"Hogwarts Transit Athority,y'all need to move to the foward car we got a bug..."he paused"..in the electrical system."Nobody moved."Yo!People,we've got a bug in the electrical system."he yelled as he turned around,suddenly Joe the Hydra ate the back end of the train,people started running."oh now y'all runnin',no no no sit down sit down it's only Hagrid's 600 ft. Hydra."He told them as he walked past them,just then the captain walked out.  
  
"Everybody sit down before I start bustin' heads."he captain said.  
  
"You get in there and put the pedal down on this thing."Sirius told him.  
  
"I'm the captain,Frank Midgewater,and I decide what happens here,"He told Sirius.(Midgewater,like the place in the Lord of the rings:the fellowship of the ring)  
  
"Oh you decide,"Frank nodded his head,"Frank,that's my man Joe."Sirius said pointing to Joe who took another bite out of the train.  
  
"Frank just made a decision."  
  
"Yeah Frank need to take his ass in there."Sirius walked to the end of the train and pulled out his big shiny chromey gun.(yes they still have wands but they have gund for all the monsters that they run into plus if they didn't have big shiny chromey guns it wouldn't be M.I.B.)"Don't make me do this Joe."he said,finally the tranqualizer kicked in.  
  
"Hogwarts station."Sirius said as the train stopped.,"Just a second,"he told the students as he pulled out his neuralizer.  
  
"Thank you for participating in our drill, had this been a real emergency y'all would've been eatin' cause you don't listen,you're ignorant,how's a guy supposed to come bashin' through the back window when..that's the problem with all y'all English people,"Oh we've seen it all,Oh no a 600 ft. Hydra save us Mr. Black!"Now I ask y'all nicely to move to the foward car when.."a few of them moved so flashed them with the neuralizer again,"Thank you for participating you will have a nice day."he said he then walked away,he pulled his communicator out of his pocket.  
  
"I need a clean up crew at the Hogwarts Station,get Hagrid on the communicator have him revoke Joe's moving privilages immediatly and will someone please check the expiration dates on the unipod hydra tranqualizers."he yelled into the communicator  
  
Sirius apparated to the subway grate,which was the last place he saw 'Siah. Sirius sat down on a bench and thought about how nice it'd be to be a normal wizard,he thought about his twin sister,Tawny,who was now dating Remus, Remus worked at the W.I.B. too but he wasn't an Agent so Tawny was in no danger from some Evil wizard,Hell that was why he stopped seeing his long-time girlfriend Katalina Wayne was because he didn't want to put her in danger.Soon after 'Siah came over and sat down next to Sirius.  
  
"Siah when was the last time we just looked at the stars?"Sirius asked him,if this had been James he would've replied with some smart ass coment like 'I don't know Sirius when was the last time you looked in a mirror?'making fun of Sirius being named after the dog star.  
  
"This is a test I can do this."Josiah replied.  
  
"Do you ever feel like you're alone in the universe?"Sirius asked him.  
  
"Yes."Siah replied.Sirius turned to look at his partner. "No." Sirius sighed,'This guy is as dumb as Peter.'he thought to himself. "Let me but you something to eat."Sirius told him.  
  
"Really?"Siah asked.  
  
Sirius stood up and walked towards his car,he was followed closely by Siah.  
  
"Hey you're not alone in the universe."Siah told Sirius and he put his arm around Sirius' shoulder.  
  
"Remove the arm."Sirius snapped at him.  
  
"You the boss."Siah replied. 


End file.
